About five minutes after I wrote the previous post, I managed to trap a part of my hand that I didn’t know could get trapped in things in a part of a door that I didn’t know things could get trapped in. Blood came out and everything. I do not know what is wrong with me.

It is really dangerous putting tights on. I was just doing that, and I managed to rip a chunk of flesh out of my thumb by catching it on my own toenail.

Shortly afterwards I ate a piece of tomato and bit a small hole in the inside of my lip.

Earlier, I had a very long series of bad experiences involving a photocopier which apparently doesn’t work properly when it’s cold.

However, I can’t claim to be having a bad day since I’ve just been asked to do a last-minute ceilidh, and when I got home I ate some gherkins and a pickled chilli pepper, and now I’m having some whisky while the fishfingers cook. I will just have to try not to injure myself on any more parts of my body in order to retain the Not A Bad Day balance.

Today a doctor cut a small hole in my back. It didn’t hurt because there was a local anaesthetic involved, but my body is just a complete wuss and goes into shock at the slightest thing, so I went all low blood pressure / low blood sugar-ish and completely white. It was okay; I was expecting this. A nurse gave me a glass of sugary water – as if I was a lost butterfly – and took me to lie down in someone else’s office. [There was no room in the one I was in, due to there being a queue of other people needing bits cut out of them.] The owner of the office was a bit surprised and Scottish. I think he was one of the doctors so I should find out which one he is. Scottish doctors are usually my favourite sort.

Now I am a bit sore because the anaesthetic has stopped.